I have hated my dad since I was a preteen. I blamed his behavior for the problems I have today. But since my diagnosis I have started to realize he probably suffered with MI too. Any time Id talk to him Id shut down and make sure it was as short as possible and avoided hugs , also avoided hugs with my mom too? As it always felt uncomfortable and superficial. And telling him I loved him felt pressured and fake.

Now I am able to talk to him more than my mom because he seems to actually listen and has more to say than her. Hugs dont feel superficial. I have never spoken to him about how he treated as a kid but for some reason I feel that theres some kind of unspoken understanding.