My son's were shot in December. My 21 yr old once, my 23 yr old 5 times, and nearly died. Since then I have sunk into a deep depression, rarely leave my bed, and am afraid of leaving the house or making any moves forward in life. When I think about doing anything my hands start to shake, my chest feels tight, and my stomach does crazy things. In my head I hear, I want to go home, over and over again, when I have to leave the house for food. I don't re-live the shooting, I wasn't there, but I do still see my son laying in a coma on a respirator in my head sometimes, and when the police drive by my house I panic thinking they are coming here to tell me one of my son's is dead, and then I cry for hours. They are both heroin addicts, so I know this is my reality. I feel emotionally dead, so don't understand having these reactions or feelings. Is this PTSD? Depression? Both? Any advice on how to cope?