Yesterday, I took a nap, had too much coffee and slept. This IV antibiotic is catching up with me, my stomach is messed up inside, I'm prescribed some pills to counter that and I think I've been taking them as instructed. This visit to a toilet seat is becoming more frequent since last night and guess what? I forgot to buy TP last night, I was very near to a place I usually get them, I knew I forgot to buy something but I didn't realize it was this important.

Right now, I don't even feel like drinking morning coffee. I woke up early, and I have enough time for a 9 o'clock appointment. It's getting itchy so I guess this means it's healing, today is the day I was waiting for, I'll be seeing a doctor, probably a new one again and I can ask him where this is gonna go. I hope I could merge today's appointment and tomorrow's, the time doesn't overlap. I feel like I'm wasting one working day unnecessarily maybe I could use the time to make the room in a tip top shape, it's quite likely that I'll be slacking off like the day before, this need to change.

After looking into my life lately, I've decided that I started to take SJW pills for the first time ever. A day before my big 40 b-day. Things has been a little crazy, this new hair guy tomorrow had better not mess up my hair. Tomorrow's dentist app isn't that important, I don't have to talk there. Today's doc app and 'morrow's hair salon, I got no script to rehearse on. And I'll be back at work the day after that.

My mind has been sneaky/naughty lately, it knows when to flip this low inhibition switch, I admit that a lot of time when I'm in an unfamiliar places, I need that push. It stays on, and keep telling me all day, "oh, I/U is doing what the heart tells you to do, just listen and do what I tell you, do not worry about a thing." And this doesn't make me feel good at all and not gonna last forever. This makes me see this as not a learning experience, see myself as just immature jerkass.

I need my serious side back, I used to think that "Yea, I'm always serious, why else would I do this, or say that?". Now it's gone. I don't know what this is, tbh, I didn't think this was gonna last this long and I'm seeing no end in sight about this. This doesn't beat when my mind switch/flip to the other side, I been getting this, I have no future, no purpose to get up and do anything, therefore I'm dead, my job, my self there is over, and I'm all alone, that kinda thoughts are happening more often since fall rolled in. I guess I'm quite lonely, I've been reading stuff on 'Our Pet' section, I wanna kitty! that stays forever a kitty. Wouldn't that be nice? I want that kneading paw from my childhood. And if the lady I was thinking about last night were in my life, If I had a social skill to take her out of her work schedule, do something about this, life would be better.

She probably think I'm an idiot. Chance encounter, that's what I'm gonna do. She's not my depression medication, you can guess what I'm thinking, right? She doesn't have to know but this just don't feel right. I'm mature 40! Well, less and less ppl would get me IRL. Sad truth ha?

Gotta go get myself ready. the rest of the day might go like this, I go into the doc's office and say:

"Yo, Doc, 'sup? You make your whilte look good, and I rock this outfit. We've walked through completely different path, and I'm single. I'm gonna stay single, so I can't afford to have this outtie on my belly. Could you please fix this?"