Hey guys!
So... The past couple months have been kind of rough. Went inpatient 3 times and then went into residential care for OCD (which the OCD is pretty well taken care of after the month I was there). My problem is that there's one thing I always seem to run in to...
I go through periods where I'm totally fine, nobody would suspect a thing wrong about me. But then, quite more often, I've been going through periods where I feel like I'm invincible, I don't need any sleep, and I feel like I have powers, and sometimes at night I'll hear voices and I'll see visions in my head. Now, in the past 3 or 4 years they've been treating me (or trying to) for Depression, Anxiety, and now OCD. But... Can you hear voices with OCD? I know there's intrusive thoughts, which I do get and have, but what about the part about the powers, voices and impulsivity? I feel like I could fly and jump in front of cars and be fine. The other day I thought there were aliens around me and clowns were coming to get me. It's not like I thought it though, I knew it. I knew there were aliens and clowns coming to get me. I still think there's aliens around me kind of. I keep fading in and out of reality, and sometimes I get butterflies in my stomach because I think that I'm gonna walk out of the house and go show people my powers. This has been racking my brain for the past couple of days, but before I would hear the voices at night, and after I started this new medication, when I would listen to music I would hear voices, like mumbling in the background and there were no people around me, and one voice I could make out would say "Help me" over and over again. The spirits were communicating to me through song or something.
What is wrong with me?? Or have I done this damage to myself... nobody believes me, despite all the hospital stays and residential for a month, I'm still ready to jump in front of a car just to show people I'm not kidding. Doctors tell me it's intrusive thoughts, but... I don't know. Sorry for the long lost, I just dontknow how to tell people this stuff. Thanks...