I AM CURED except my stupid brain.

Whoever came across the grossness of my recent posts, thanks for putting up with them, there will be no more, I hope.

A grey haired gentleman doctor told me that this could happen again but there won't be a scary surgery in the future, and I now know what to do if this ever happen again. I even know how to speed up IV drip, which I did while I was in the very nice and sunny last IV session today.

Now the pain's behind me, I want to apply myself and learn these kind of things bit by bit, things ppl would learn at Uni over the course of years. Just by looking at Wikipedia entry for 'Meaning of life', it is obvious that there are so many ways to look at things, ppl know these kinda stuff, unbelievable. I've got to catch up and find myself/my survival strategy somehow. Why wouldn't you find yourself lost in life when there are tons of other things that you don't know about? It'll take years to know why ppl do what they do, sorry to say I ain't got time for that.

What are you really asking? I, just don't do that. It's like a question for a much bigger brain than mine. I'm just here, existing, don't be hatin'. Meaning of life. Really? U asking ME that? (This translates to, it's okay that you're just there.)

How the *bleep* should I know? It's really fine not knowing that. Finding someone see the way I never thought of, that kinda moments are just amazing, so precious, enough to keep me going till I learn more.

My brain is maybe like an universe. (Pls don't ask me about 'knowledge' and how it limit my thinking etc...I'm not smart enough to answer that.) I'm just imagining it. Do I get to see the birth and collapse/end of my universe through the way by which I live my life? Probably that is not the whole truth. It's just feeling that what I create to see, what I'm capable of envisioning in my tiny brain, the sparks and it's passage way aren't all there is.

Spirituality. Maybe you have that, hmm? I didn't grow up in a household that taught me anything of that sort, so I don't know what this means to me, it's like an afterthought to me at this point. And I hope that I could find some meaning in that by observing and interacting. What does it mean when ppl say spiritually awaken?

What is the meaning of life?
Why are we here?

It's like we are born to ask that questions, isn't it?

The answer doesn't have to be given.

Just need to be asked. For EVERYONE. Y'know, a guy with a nuke switch, a man with a gun pointing at someone else, verbally abusive friends/coworkers, maybe a guy on a brige who's about to jump, our friends here who can't help themselves to SH, practically every single person on this planet. I should do it to myself more often.

Great post, Standup2me, thank you.

(Something's not right, this is the second time today that tears welling up in my eyes. The first time was when this lady from Fukushima earthquake was on tv, and now, here for the second time. )