Fallingtears, I feel your pain. I've been where you are. At the worst of my drinking, I just needed to drink to feel normal. I was starting my day with a couple of scotches and drinking a full 26'er every night. It was killing me.
I finally found help, after I had a withdrawal seizure. That was in 2006. I've been working on remaining sober ever since. It hasn't been easy and I've had a number of relapses. But I have to say that although hard, being sober is so much better than drinking. I have my life back.

If you want to stop, I'd start with talking with your family Dr. about stopping safely, it's not safe to stop cold Turkey if you've been drinking a lot. There are drugs that your Dr.can give you to make it safe and more comfortable. You might also want to consider a rehab program. I found rehab to be very helpful.

I'm not into AA either. I'm guessing you're female (sorry if I'm wrong) so you might want to google Women For Sobriety. That's the program I follow, and it's all about taking personal resposibility and building a better non-drinking life for yourself.

splitimage