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Originally Posted by A Red Panda
Lunch/coffee dates with friends definitely constitute as "busy" so... when you see someone out for lunch and you feel like they bailed on you? They likely had those plans already made - just like you now have for later this week!
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Not when they tell you they are going to work on their project and have no time for lunch, LOL.
Then whilst supposedly "working on their project" you see them in the coffee shop with another friend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
Depression definitely gets in the way. When you're depressed, do you slack off on hygiene? That's more of a turn-off for people than someone's body size when it comes to making friends.
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Ummm...not really. I try to dress neatly too. But, yes, that's understandable, as your mind is in "emergency" or "coping to stay alive" mode.
Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
Are you trying to be friends with people who are a lot younger than you? I'm not clear on that as you are in a university area. You're not working on the same degree as younger students from the sounds of it. Different age gaps and life situations do tend to play a role in developing friendships.
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Again, not really. These are my colleagues I'm referring to. In fact, the person who is now going to have lunch with me is a bit younger than me.
I've always struggled with people exactly my own age. Younger or older always works for me. I get along better with professors for example than peers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
Some of the most confident and well respected people I know are heavy. They look amazing and some of those people have the best put-together looks I have seen! They pay attention to their appearance, but it isn't the size that influences how people percieve them, but how they take care of themselves. They are by leaps and bounds more attractive than I am - because when I'm depressed/exhausted/anxious I totally throw out "put together a nice outfit" and end up with no make-up, hair a disaster (my hair hates to cooperate on the best of days) and fairly random clothes tossed on. But when I'm doing fine, I'm more on par (I always do minimal make up really, I'm never 100% "put together"... joys of being female...).
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Well, that kind of proves my point, doesn't it? It's all about looks!
And, the thing is, I think you'll find if you did a survey that even though they do look really attractive being heavy set, they still have fewer friends than the normal thin person.
From what I read about what you are saying, you sound to me to be someone who thinks a little different. Just by you saying that you sometimes (when you are depressed) will go out in thrown together clothing and not do your hair/makeup shows me that you are not shallow and don't base everything on looks like these other judgmental people. I'm telling you, those people would not be caught dead doing that!
All that this is, is a way to try and force people who don't care about fads and fashion, to care about fads and fashion by the exclusion principle. If you don't play along to the rules of the game, you get kicked out in other words. It's sad, but that's the human race for you.