I'm in the same boat of sorts. I've had ADHD since I was a child however and trust me when I say there is no magical pill that will fix it. Yes there are things that can help with it but there are many factors with it. The best you can do is let her know you are sorry for the past, show her change in the present and continue the change into the future. Some people can handle/cope with issues while others can't.

As said I have had ADHD for a very long time and my wife and I have recently split as well. Many of the issue we had were due to my mental issues, much more then just ADHD however. She doesn't understand them completely and refuses to accept them, as some people can't. Sometimes just giving them the info and letting them learn it on there own is the only thing you can do. I will say if you do truly love her then try your best to show her and not keep her in the dark. I know I'm pretty impulsive when it comes to things that upset me and if that is a problem try not to let it get the best of you. I am a strong believer that if your open and honest with each other and there is love there it can be fixed/resolved.

Once you start to see someone they will or should help teach you ways to deal with this and how to better handle it. This in itself may help with your marriage as well. Best of luck to you.