I cycle often. I wake up with a running start, hand-in-hand with mania, straight into the iron wall that is depression. My polarity in mood is matched with my polarity in thought. Republican. Democrat. Humanitarian. Cynic Conservative.
I cannot keep up with what I say or feel. My views and positions on the issues of the world shuffle around with my mood. Today I love what I hate, and tomorrow I'll hate what I loved the day before. My manic ramblings do not stick in memory. My doldrumatic mumblings in depression glance off my mind.

People notice this. Conversations I cannot remember, ideas I don't remember having. For lack of a better term, I flip-flop. A natural hypocrisy.

My North and South are always in competition. Where are my "good" periods? Where can I go for neutrality? A log, perhaps. Attempt to define myself. I've tried it before...

Am I a humanitarian? Or am I obsessed with self-preservation?
How can I expect to share my opinions when my views can turn on a dime instantaneously? How can I expect to maintain healthy friendships when I cannot provide consistency?

I write this today in hopes of finding solidarity with you. I can't be the only one, I know it. This is not an issue I can cope with through strange therapies or medicines. My solace will come from knowing I'm not alone in this regard. I need to know there are others out there that live like this and thrive.

Thanks for reading, pals.