People who help other people are able to control their thoughts, feelings, behaviors so they do help themselves first before others. It is the only way to truly help someone if you are in a crisis you need to focus on yourself and then you will have a clear mind and calm inner feeling even while she is upset because it will not be beneficial if her being upset, upsets you.
I know it is much easier said than done it's hard to put yourself first because you may think you are not deserving but you 100% deserve to feel good and should allow yourself to come before others during the healing process.