Thread: Nothing's changed - they still can't get over my looks
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Old Oct 05, 2015, 09:19 PM
MiddayNap MiddayNap is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: US
Posts: 669
Quote:
Originally Posted by StbGuy View Post
Seems life has come full circle, now with more devastating consequences.

Since I can remember, I always just knew and felt everyone had a problem with me.

When I was a boy, it was because I was too soft and not tough enough. Then at school, I gained weight (because I was told I was too thin and anorexic) by basically being fed soda and chocolate every day. So, the kids mocked me for being fat.

Then at high school, I was too smart, too much of a nerd, still fat and not social enough, didn't play enough sports, so I was once again marked as a weakling.

Now at university, being constantly rejected by everyone, I have no friends at all, literally nobody. Can't strike up a conversation with colleagues, then they find an excuse to get rid of me, can't get anyone to even spend five minutes in my company, they are "too busy".

Why don't they just say it already? YOU'RE TOO FAT AND HIDEOUS TO BE LOVED you asshole!!!

How many more times is my pathetic mind going to justify the absolute crap excuses I get from these people? Oh, maybe they are too busy, maybe they do have something else on, yeah, and then see them sitting 30 minutes later with another friend having lunch.

Is this all I mean to others? Just a fat guy? No other redeemable qualities whatsoever? Can't even be my friend for 5 minutes?

At this point, I'd rather be a dog or a cat than a human, because even they get attention. Nobody cares that they are full of ticks and fleas, sand and dust, and crap on the living room carpet. Nobody cares that they lick their own balls and anuses and then lick people in the mouth afterwards.

Oh goodness, just realized how pathetic I am, being jealous of an animal for goodness sake. Oh well.

I just don't see the point anymore. Nobody is ever going to give me a chance. It's all just looks, looks and looks.

I am not even a respected researcher anymore. My promoters don't even think I can do my project and get my PhD anymore. Maybe they are right, maybe I should just quit. It's not like I'll ever be respected by anyone, everywhere I go it's just fat, fat, fat is bad, bad, bad.

All I long for is for someone to give me a chance to show them I am more than just a fat guy. I'm a human too, with talents and skills and gifts and capable of doing things for others, and bringing joy into their lives. But, alas, I guess that chance I will never see before I enter the grave. Maybe it won't take much longer.
Why on earth would you want to converse with them anyway? They sound like total pricks.
Alright, I'm going to get serious for just one moment.
I believe your insecurities are warping your perception. You feel as though people will see you as your "flaws" and ridicule you, which makes conversation rather difficult. Because you cannot communicate well with others, people find it hard to connect with you. Their behavior is then used to fuel the idea that they only see your flaws, which of course causes you to fret over them even more. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I am not familiar with you, nor am I claiming to be. I know only what has been presented and, therefore, my assumptions are based solely upon that information.