Making a connection with T is scary, especially if you have never allowed anyone through that barrier.

Realising that T has feelings is even scarier still, yes? It's difficult and takes time and trust.

If you have been through a heap load of crap in the past, you need to work on that first otherwise you will block, block, block. I've been there, it is scary but it will happen.

Go easy on yourself, sounds like you have a heap load of present stress aswell, go for a walk, sit in the sun, distract yourself for a bit so that you can process what is going on in therapy.

Think what you would say to your patients/clients and apply it to yourself.

Take care.