It's been like this for too long, this battle with despair, and the depression is winning, sucking my life and breath away. I think it's too late for me to get better. I've been depressed for more years than not. My thoughts don't know how to not be depressed. I've lost hope. Being alive is too painful and tiresome. My life is meaningless. Nothing makes sense. Mentally and emotionally and spiritually I am so tired.