We also must also take Tweaky's tweak medicine into consideration. Sometimes I have to make and eat my breakfast before it kicks in. When it does, my motivation is 20x stronger maybe more it's amazing.

Kills appetite like a nuclear bomb on Africa.

- Tweaky

So basically what I did yesterday was completely organize my room and even vacuumed. I took 7 Prozacs the night before. It tips the balance in OCD which I find to be amazing because it happens every time. I didn't take any more because I have the extremely rare side effect of ventricular fibrillation which can cause sudden death.

At the end, the Concerta wore off and I went to bed. I couldn't focus and gave up by leaving it last. I had the motivation. I just couldn't focus to save my life and I get really upset about it. More than I should be.

I'm not a lazy person though. Before schizophrenia, I would shower twice a day etc and I started working full time from part time right before my first hospitalization. I was working my *** off and having fun just causing destruction in heavy duty mechanics and had energy but oblivious to my mental state broken inside. Didn't know.

I started skipping work and was extremely suicidal along what ever else comes with being mentally Ill. I eventually drank with benzos and took 20 pills of Lexapro and then the ambulance. My heart was beating in a bad way in the ER and it probably would have killed me. With all these bad OD's that were mostly accidental, I can't believe I'm still alive. I'm happy that we all are.

I think I might have an addictive personality that prevents me from trying new things but without meds (Prozac-Abilify-Concerta), I'm so under stimulated that I sleep constantly and if I'm thirsty or hungry, I would not eat because I was toast.

My injection is on Thursday which also helps really well with motivation. I couldn't stay in school today and just now the methylphenidate kicked in so I have to catch up on my English course because IR lasts only 3 hours.

I'm on disability to cover my meds but they give me 1600 a month anyways because it's a government program in my province (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped). So if I'm stable, they're happy with me being outpatient and living my life doing the best I can.

They didn't cover the Abilify injection but people complained so they cover it now. I will still have to pay 200-300 a month for Concerta. It's more expensive than Ritalin but it's way better.

Also I found out that the reason as to why my psychiatrist stopped the Vyvanse is because the Prozac inhibits the metabolism of amphetamine let alone an massive increase of Prozac blood concentration from the Abilify which is why he said it would be like crack cocaine. It didn't really do anything for me just slight focus like when I tried crack..

I have some serious information that can be a breakthrough in stimulant addiction (Except meth). I'm seriously going to contact the drug companies but the corrupt government probably won't like it.