Well, this admittedly seems different to me, for I am someone diagnosed with BPD not NPD, as you know. However, I live with and try to help a close friend (my boyfriend's mom) who is in late stage Alzheimer's. I know about going numb over this stuff. It gets so overwhelming sometimes that I NEED to go numb occasionally or I'll get crazier than I already am. Anyway, I'm not sure what's worse to be honest....living with someone who's just not there anymore and just a shell of their old self...or not being there at all until the inevitable happens. Everyone, who is NOT going through it, has some kind of theory about how one "should" react in these times. I say just do what's right for you. I chose to stay... and I live with it. It sometimes just tears me apart from the inside out...and I admit it's not the healthiest way to live. But it's my choice. I'd feel guilty if I left now because I do love her and I love my boyfriend. Is the fact that I stay out of love or guilt? Both, I suppose. It doesn't make my motives any less genuine, though. If you decide staying away is what's right for you, then it doesn't make your thoughts and feelings any less genuine either. I know you're not looking for advice or sympathy or anything like that. I can relate is all....and supposedly NPDs don't get along with BPDs but here we are....both just human. HAHAHAHA.

Hang in there! I'm rooting for you!