You have my empathy. I had a lengthy marriage that at the end I experienced much toxicity. I know how hard it is, and the isolation. You can private message me if it helps you any, although I have also found many helpful responses on the board. I hope you reach out to a doctor for some help with the depression, or a therapist or both.

Btw, welcome to psych central. I hope you keep posting, I find it helps to vent out your feelings.