Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
here in my location feeling like one self is shape shifting into other people, plants, animals and inanimate objects is called tactile hallucinations, delusional thoughts, .....psychosis.... and sometimes a medication side effect for some people. the reason its called this in my location is that human beings can not in reality shape shift into other people and objects they may .....feel.... that way but reality wise no two people are identical and no one can literally become another.
that said in life normally people do act and behave, carry their self, project their self differently depending upon the situation and who they are with...
for example when I am with my children my posture, words I use and behavior is that of a parent playing, caring for children. when I am at church my posture, words I use, behaviors are that which is acceptable in a church setting and interacting with fellow worshipers. when I am at work my posture, words I use, behaviors reflect the professional standards of my job...
before my alters were integrated (I had DID ) sometimes I would switch into an alter state of mind but physically my body did not shape shift or morph into a childs body. physically I was an adult so there was no way an adult human body can shapeshift into a childs body. but the words I used was that of that alter, the mannerisms/behaviors were of that alter, the things I talked about with my therapist was what was contained with in that alters memories, thoughts...
the same when I switched into my introject type alters, introjects are alters that take on the role of those that had abused me... physically my body did not shape shift or morph into being that of my abusers. it was my words that I used, the behaviors \acting out, and natural posturing of the abusers....example one abuser would always put their hand on their hip and point a lot so when I was that altered state of mind my hand went on my hip and I pointed a lot.
my treatment providers told me this behavior was normal for people with DID and has been happening all my life, a person doesnt become DID upon diagnosis or seeing a treatment provider. nothing changes after getting a diagnosis or
starting or being in therapy that hasnt already been happening all my life. when I discovered this problem I went to my family home where I grew up and searched through all the photos and discovered my treatment providers were
right, there i was in many childhood photos with my hand upon my hip and pointing at something off camera .
after that it didnt worry me so much because it was happening all my life. not something sudden like a medication problem or psychosis, hallucinations.
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Thank you for your response, I found it very informative, as I'm starting to think my experiene was more inline with 'psychosis'. I really felt and experienced as if I was an older woman, who hated her body, and was essentially souless. I felt it as if it were an identity competiting with my own. It was horrible, and now I'm out of it and feeling relatively normal - whatever that means. But actual 'shape-shifitng', no - but I literraly saw my own hands, arms, body, completely diffently to what I percieve to be normal. So I had transformed in that moment in my own mind. I don't want to feel that way again, but that image is haunting me...