Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgia Bridge
...  ... Once, many years ago, when I was in the mental hospital, an image of one of my brothers showed up and told me to watch. I turned into him (it seemed like he turned me into him). I saw myself as him, acted like him... even looked in the mirror and I looked just like him. Quite shocking. At the moment I don't remember that happening again. It was very different than what the personalities do ( I suppose one of the personalities did that too; I really have not a clue though) and act like. He also is a very unpleasant figure in my life.
I hope that's a one time only thing for you. It makes one curious as to why. I wonder why it happened... ... |
Thank you Georgia, for sharing your story. And I think you get the fact that I NEVER want to feel that again. As to 'why?' Well all I can think that as while it was happening I got an insight into the absolute dysmorphia about her body; & how much she hated herself; i found myself looking at myself, through her eyes, my hands and arms, thinking how ridicoulsy large they were (I've never thought that before) -how her identity was nothing but a black whole; there is no identity. Feeling like that person, made it clear to me how simple it would be to end it all; because there was 'nothing' at the heart of it. But then I realised, I was abandoned by this mother figure, that was encompassing me; at the very age my daughter is now. If I bow out, I will follow the pattern, but in a different way. Not going to do it. never expected to have to literally battle with my demons in this way - can only gather it is a blessing to be conscious and aware of it.