Hello,

Years ago I also moved away from my home country and left behind everything and everyone I knew... I won't pretend that I know how you feel, but I suppose I can say that I get it, more or less...

I am socially anxious myself, and I tend to behave awkwardly in social situations, because I feel under pressure and I feel that I am being judged as if I am some sort of "artist" that needs to "perform" flawlessly, otherwise I "won't pass the audition".

That makes me wanna hide, I feel scared of going out and "failing"... so I think I get what you are saying.

Anyway, I can't help but noticing one thing that is really getting to me on your post: your husband's troubling behaviour.

Suffering abuse on the top of everything else is certainly not going to help you.

Forgive me for my observation, and I better not make any comment regarding that.

You need support from the ones who really care about you.

I hope you find your way out of this situation very soon.

Best of luck to you!