Hi ciderguy. I'm very sorry to read about Mr. Love, even though I never knew him. My mom is 87 and I worry about her health failing all the time. It's just awfully sad.

I wish I knew what to say about your struggles with regret. For me I guess it has softened into a quiet sadness. I think it's good that you're finally able to cry. It doesn't feel helpful now, maybe, but it should after a time. I wish I could say something helpful.