Quote:
Originally Posted by littleowl2006
Now it has been almost 5 weeks since the breakup, but in all this time he refused to leave me alone. He called me, texted me or came by to see me constantly. I told him that I wanted him to respect my space, but he didn't. I told him over and over again and then blocked him completely on my phone.
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This is typical. He took you for granted and now that you've put your foot down and left, he is realizing what he has lost and is now desperate to keep your relationship alive.
But be fair warned, if he didn't give a damn back then, why would he give a damn in the future if you two go back together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by littleowl2006
I feel so exhausted. One the one hand, I miss him and have all these feelings for him that will just not go away, but on the other hand I am so completely hurt and devastated.
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I can relate to this. When I lost my wife back in March of this year, it was a shock. I carried all these feelings for her, which I still do today. Since there was not the growing-apart or falling out of love period most divorced people feel, I went from happy romance to WHAM!!... all alone in the world, in love with a ghost. All I have now are memories with no hope of getting her back.
Emotional baggage sucks, but it's what we collect as we go through our lives, whether we want to or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by littleowl2006
Do you know any help on how to get along with all these feelings? I could really need some comfort right now. Things have been so incredibly hard  |
Aside from professional help, I can only suggest in trying to keep yourself busy. I've found that not giving yourself a chance to sit and think about the past helps to some degree, but you will always have your moments.
Things I can suggest you DO NOT do:
- Escapism that is harmful to you. Alcohol, drugs for example.
- Online dating sites. They are mostly a waste of time and end up being soul crushing experiences that strip away what little self esteem you have left.
- Running back to him. The more you go running back, the more he will take you for granted, which will make things worse in the long run.
Things I found helpful:
- Hitting the gym. Aside from allowing you to work out your aggravation on a punching bag or lifting weights, it helps get you in shape which is a big boost to your self esteem.
- Computer games & movies. They take your mind off things for a while and you can be someone else for a short time. Granted you have to be careful and not turn this into an obsession, which can easily happen with online games, but as a gamer from the 70's this is a part of my life which helped keep me distracted when my world turned into a $hit Sunday when my wife died.
- Friends, family and social groups. Getting involved with others helps, mostly as we are hard-wired to be social creatures. It also builds up your support network, if you need help with future moments of crisis.