Thank you for your support and advise, I really do appreciate the responses to my post. I wanted to update my earlier post and also clarify a couple of things.

First, the neighbor came back over today and wanted to apologize for how things went. She felt she had gone a little overboard in her complaints about our dog. My husband also apologized to her telling her that he was totally out of line for getting so angry, that she had a legitimate right to be concerned about the barking, and that we would work harder to keep him quiet. They hugged, and all was good... between them. Next, he sat down with me and admitted that he totally list it last night and tried to explain himself. A few years back we lived in a condo with neighbors upstairs. They constantly complained about our dog. He was a puppy and I was trying to train him, but any noise he made bothered them. I was not willing to give up the dog because I love him and he is a source of comfort. So we moved because I couldn't handle the stress anymore. We lived in a house for a couple of years. It was a dog friendly area and I relaxed and had some peace. A year ago we had to move again, unfortunately, due to the loss of my job. We live in a small trailer in a senior park. When the neighbor came to complain last night, my husband was afraid all of that stress and anxiety was going to hit me again and make me fearful about living here, and he lost it. He apologized for losing his temper and putting me through that.

Finally, this gave me an opportunity to explain to him how I felt last night. We've had this conversation a few times before, but I think he really heard me this time. About the dog: he really only barks when my husband is home because my husband is loud, boisterous and playful. He needs to take him to the park and do the playing there and work on being quieter and calmer at home. When he is calm, the dog is quiet. About me: I need to feel safe in my home and with him. When he loses his temper and yells, I don't feel safe. Ninety percent of the time he is loving, attentive, and protective, but that is all negated when he behaves in a way that makes me feel afraid.

He has never physically harmed me, and I don't think he ever would, but he doesn't have to, to hurt me. This is what I really tried to stress to him.

One of the posts asked if I was on disability. No, I'm not. I don't qualify because my teacher's salary over the past 10 years did not pay into social security, but instead it went into a state pension fund which I can't touch until I am 65. So, I have not worked enough quarters that payed into social security over the past 5 years. I don't qualify for SSI because my husband earns too much. I have not tried to see if I could qualify for disability through the state retirement fund. I quit my job, due to stress, and I am afraid that the state would really fight my claim. As I am not under a doctors care now, and cannot afford a lawyer, there would be nobody in my corner advocating for me.

I went to my first appointment at the mental health clinic on 9/28. It was to be an intake appointment, but quickly turned into a strongly worded recommendation that I check myself into the state mental hospital. I came into the appointment very anxious and was not as focused and articulate as I would have liked to have been. I came off as suicidal and unstable. She was very nice to me, but she saw an older cutting scar on my arm when I was moving my chair around and it immediately set off a red flag. When I also answered honestly to questions about suicidal thoughts, that was enough for her to decide I needed to be hospitalized where I could be medically stabilized and have "eyes on me" for a few days. I told her I would think about it and talk to my husband about it. I took a Valium when I got home, and I did talk to my husband about it. I decided not to go. Honestly, the idea of going into a state hospital scares me to death on a lot of different levels. I have another appointment 11/10 at the MH clinic to finish the intake. Despite the lengthy hypomanic episode I had the summer of 2009, she has doubts about my 2009 BPII diagnosis. She is leaning more towards MMD and anxiety. This has been unsettling for me, to say the least. I already struggle with my own personal doubts about the validity of my illness. Am I really mentally ill, or am I just a lazy, weak, neurotic individual with
character flaws?