I am going through some of same. I am bi-polar, anxiety, major depresive and PTSD. I have a problem that once i get an idea in my head it just sprials out of control. I have been in relationship over ten years. WE are both alcoholics, he didn't get get sober until a year and a half ago. Me ten years with one slip. I thought i was so positive i had proof he was chatting with other women that i sent a very mean, hateful text. He tried calling i never answered then he called my mom cause he was worried what was going on. I had thoughts of suicide i was so upset and hurt. Turns out it was just my imagination, This hurt him greatly and said i have severe mental problems. He started drinking and blamed me for it. Which in AA they say you are not responsible for other person drinking. He had finally got a good job, i thought all was great but my insecurities built from earlier trauma with other men in my life led me to believe things that aren't true. He said very hateful things to me while drunk. I have finally concluded this is a very dysfunctional, toxic relationship. I know I must end it but I love him so much. But obviously my past is still getting in the way. Saw my therapist today, she said to write a pro/con list. My problem is i react before i think. I am so upset but know to end this would in the long run be best.