That's common to seem as if this was another child that experience digital penetration. This is your wounded inner child we are discussing here. Is that you have problems with memories being closer to the conscious mind that it seems like someone else. This also kind of describes dissociation identity being removed from your thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories and identity of what happened seeming like this child is separate from you. Your feelings need to evolve. What helps me is reading stories about others especially those you care about and kind of sympathizing with them. I think the best way to start is to get in your mind how you were wrong how illegal it is read about the manifestations that you experienced throughout your life. The more you talk it the closer the hurt will feel to you. If it is a case like myself, I had to start with my most recent memories as adult and work my way backwards so I was in for years of therapy. I've learned that my memories/indentity etc. are like in a protective fortress and maybe one day I will recover those memories from my original traumatize little girl. As of now, I just get mad about the childhood that was lost all of manifestation I 've gone through and try to be a protective parent until I'm no longer numb.