Though much of last night's debacle was resolved (see earlier post), I am feeling emotionally fragile today. My dog has been on my lap a lot and hanging on to him helps. I've cried a couple of times, but there was no real release. I feel clenched up inside and my stomach hurts.

Because of all the yelling last night, I feel like the whole street knows our business, and I am embarrassed. The house is all closed up. Even going out to walk my dog seems unbearable because I'm afraid I am going to feel the judgement of my neighbors as well as hostility towards my dog. If one neighbor has come over and complained, how many have felt the same way and just didn't have the courage to come over and tell us?

My dog, Sam, is not the only dog on our street or the mobile home park. There are at least 6 other dogs on our street alone, but our dog probably barks the most. He is a spaniel/poodle mix and a talker, particularly in the early evening and on the weekends. My husband is loud and boisterous and the dog responds to that. I am quiet, so during the day when my husband is at work, Sam is quiet, too. I've tried to explain this to my husband before, now, after last night, he realizes he needs to be calmer around our dog.

I just need to feel comfortable and safe at home. I need for my dog to be accepted where we live. I've had him for 7 years, longer than my husband, and he has been with me through several bad depressive episodes.