It's just crazy because teah, you'd think a doctor would have told me something by now. They always just would say "Mood disorder unspecified" because of all the crap that my mom would tell them. I swear, one of the best things about turning 18 in the mental health world is that I don't have to be forced to give consent for anybody! But I believe in and out that I have to go on either a mission or adventure (feels more like mission) and I have to grab something out of a street lamp/light. I told my dogs today that the government was gonna get us. "Hear that, guys? The governments gonna get us, we're all gonna die" I think I told them. I saw something online about something called Schiz OCD, and it's where you're so afraid of becoming schizophrenic that you read all the symptoms on the Internet and then believe your starting to have them. I'm not afraid I have it, to me it's the only thing that makes sense. I looked up Bipolar and it didn't feel like me. I'm like freaking paranoid to the point where I'm about to stab people because they're gonna hurt me. I went out the other day believing my life was a wide screen movie and everyone was watching me. But then the fact that I'm schizophrenic most likely means that I'm not... Doctors are screwing me up.