i'm sorry for you pain bellaviolet...

i guess i just don't want to accept it yet...

some of the things my mom said to me...

i was self centered & selfish & obnoxious
said i ruin things for her
said i love you but i don't like you
called me the name of a fat kid she knew
used to ask how many ax handles wide my butt was
said i f*cked you up
said i don't care what you think
said you can't do things right
said if i lost weight i could get a boyfriend/husband
called me bad words
compared me to my popular cousin
compared me to her friends smart boys
dismissed my feelings
said my sister and i had a perfect life compared to her childhood

but is this that bad?

she also said i was beautiful and smart and could do what ever i wanted to in life

i don't mean to sound stupid - i get that the negative stuff had an impact on how i saw myself...but i don't have to believe that stuff...

most of the time i rolled my eyes at her and called her a ****** to her face... i had quite a little attitude as teen especially - she never made me cry! instead i made her cry...

sorry for being hard headed...