May, June, and July were generally pretty good. Now it's just the first of August, and there are signs already of losing it. Sometimes it is seasonal for me, but it comes earlier each year. It's still summer!

I've been skipping my light therapy because I figured I didn't really need it right now, and I've been in too much of a hurry in the morning. I've been staying up way too late at night (4:30 or 5 a.m.) and still having to go to work by 9 at the latest (a little later some days, but it takes half and hour or an hour to get there, depending on the time of day, so I have to leave by 8). Going on too little sleep can be thrilling for a while, but there is always a crash. I didn't think it would be too bad, since I'm doing okay. I've been drinking plenty of St. John's Wort tea, just in case, and since we've had some clouds.

The trigger that finally did it was neighbors complaining about the chickens getting out of our yard. They are baby chickens and small enough to get through and/or under the fence. Neighbors (that we had been getting along with) came over tonight and demanded that I follow them back to their house and see what my (my daughter's, actually) have done. I went, in my good work clothes, minus shoes, and they insisted that I clean up the wood chips that the chickens scattered from around their roses. I found a nice thick dried stem with thorns, so I guess I'll be in long sleeves for a while.

This wouldn't have done it as a stand-alone though. I'm stressed about work and upcoming practicum and finding a practicum site and leaving my job (potentially), and making sure everything is set to transition smoothly when a new person takes over.

Plenty of relationship issues too. I'm no good at relationships - never have been. I hope I can learn though. Without being able to manage relationships, I'll never make it as a counselor.

I'm not like horribly depressed or anything like that. I don't care about the scratches - I never do. I'm disappointed that I didn't draw blood. If this doesn't get any worse, I'll be fine. That's a big if. Winter scares me. August is starting to scare me too. Maybe that's better than catching me by surprise like it has the last few years. If only I could stop anticipating seasonal slips and slides, that would probably be a good thing.