I don´t feel I have anything to life for anymore and please don´t talk about turning to God, nature, getting a pet or something like that. I´ve written many posts in the psychotherapy forum and a lot of what´s there is also the reason I don´t want to live anymore.

I have no friends, I´ve never been in a relationship and I´m unemployed. I will never be happy with "a little improvement" in life, I will never be happy working like in the local store or at a gas station.

I have no support, I have no close relationship to my parents and even if I spend time with them when I go see them, I still feel lonely.

As I´m depressed I´m past searching for friends and I don´t have the strength to meet up with new people.

I don´t get the care I need and I don´t have money to pay for a therapist.

I spend all my time alone, I have noone to turn to and there are no support groups or anything. I long for a close relationship, a real friend, someone who knows me.

I absolutely despise people who are supposed to be helpers, like people within public health care who just tell me obvious things, they never treat me with warmth and care. And all those T:s I went to for evaluation, how they just asked me a lot of questions, I never felt seen.

So, I have nothing to live for and the only thing there is is having thoughts about ending it all.