Hello fijiisland: I just wanted to say how sorry I am to read of your struggles. I hope somewhere, somehow, you can find the strength to persevere... & dare I say even triumph? I send you warm wishes that you may find the strength you need to buoy you on your journey. 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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