I really think my parents caused my depression. they were (and still are) very controlling. I was taught that everything is bad and I can do nothing right.

I was fearful of everything. On top of all this I am a very sensitive person so I think it all hit me harder. I had selective mutism in elementary school. I had panic disorder in my 20's. I have never had many friends. I feel I have missed out on everything.

Now, I am older and feel even worse. I have no control over my life and feel as if everyone is mean to me and no one understands. I take antidepressants just to deal with people who make me mad. If they weren't around me I wouldn't need to take pills!!!

I was always bored as a child and told just to "be still". I couldn't show any anger, if anything about sex came on television the channel would be changed and everyone would get red embarrassed faces.

I am a very complex person. but sometimes I wish I had never been born. I have amounted to nothing in my life. With different parents I would probably be rich and famous