A little perspective...you are 18!! At least time is on your side. What I hear from you is that you an ordinary average young man. I would focus on being the best human being you can. Why not join a gym and exercise? Why not go to college and get involved in clubs. Why not find a therapist to talk about your future!

Think about the man you want to be in 5, 10, 20 years. Stay away from hard drugs..by the way, because if you are lookig to fit in that might
be problem.