I would hope that this topic would help many people on PC. It seems to be a common problem that new people don't find the topic the group is on at the time they join is of interest or relevance to them. My experience is that there are thousands of problem and the chances of a group being right on target for you is slim. So, what can a new member do?

In many group an experienced member will take the lead in asking in some detail "what is your situation?" Or "how would you like this group to help you?" If there is a therapist leading the group, they will invite new group members to speak freely and openly. _Sky often does that in this group...and Perna...and Wants... Of course, the new member has to be courageous and describe what that want from the group with what problem. Once done and the group has accepted the task of helping you with your problem, then you usually see the group as your group that is caring, understanding, and have some experience that is related to your real concerns.

If the group you are entering and testing out doesn't encourage you to speak up about the real concerns you have, then you probably need to ask them to focus on your concerns and be prepared to paint the picture of what is happening to you. This might take several minutes or 1/2 an hour. Hopefully, the group will ask you questions--and share their related experiences--but when you have a chance to finish your story, get on with it. In later meetings you should report problems or progress. In that way your problem becomes part of the group's agenda. Having a group that knows you, cares about you, and devotes time to you is a very satisfying.

Of course, the group need to meet every week or so. Also, there needs to be empathic listeners who doesn't spew out criticism or directions...

I have found such a group to be be enjoyable and cogent and a wonderful experience even if I am supposed to be the leader.

drclay