Hi Racat - I read your previous story about your BF and the situation you are in now. Heart Ache is the worst I know and I understand, but sometimes it helps to ask the right questions.
Letting go of someone gracefully is tough but its the right thing to do. You have emotions attached to him and its fine to feel those emotion's but please do not let it override you. Every time your mind generates these thoughs keep calm and look at it from a third person's view point. Look at this emotion and thought and see what your mind is generating. Your mind is great tool if you can use it right if you cant it will take control of you.
Hope this helps.