Ok, so there has been big progress on the connection front... HE even said he felt it, which is tres cool. But it has created a new problem... need.

i want to need him, and i know for this to get deep and to work well i NEED to need him. A certain amount of dependency needs to be created and it's uncomfortable. Ok, understood.

But... what i don't like and i am unsure of is that i can't afford to see him more than once per week, and really i can't afford that but i make it happen. With deep connection and need i think that once per week is really too hard. You spend too much time in the general chit chat and "how was your week?" crap. And my life is a roller coast for real much of the time. With a week b/w sessions there is just too much to catch up on. Plus i am BPII, so even in stable times my moods flucuate enough that reporting that takes up time.

So, i am questioning whether going deeper and forming that connection is wise. i really don't want to fall into that pattern i see where i spend time dwelling on my T or session or whatever all week long, counting the minutes till i see him again. And i am finding that i am doing some of that already. i saw him 2x a week just a couple of times and it was far more productive.

i need to go deep at some point, and this guy is good.. there are good signs we could form that connection needed. Geez..