I've been feeling like this for years... even though I had panic and anxiety attacks,when the depression hits and I lay around in my bed watching TV shows in big rows (and that is just about all I can do instead of just lying awake) I still feel ashamed that I just simply lazy.. and I often feel like i should slap myself and say "get a job" and that's basically all my problem.

but the very existence of this tough pattern proves that I am depressed.... I just had to realize that this is one of the hardest thing for people around me to accept and it is reflecting back to me.... after all what could my problem possibly be? I'M young - in my mid 20ies -, I look good, I'm smart, I have skills ect-ect... so it must be whining.....
because only you can feel the rock that is sitting on your chest, no one else. it isn't visible... people got bags under their eyes, they can be tired, pale ect..... it isn't so unusual - they say.

I hope as you read this from an other person, it is more clear.... and you can reflect it back to understand it in you too