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Originally Posted by magicalprince
It is a 2 person emotional dialogue but T's typically do not want to meet their vulnerable client with vulnerability as well. Mutual vulnerability is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Usually this is more about protecting their own emotions than helping the client, so the client ends up meeting the T's emotional needs, and paying to do so.
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So very true. My T did become vulnerable, but then I think she was terrified of this "failure" and by the realization that she was using me for her own needs. Eventually she just wanted me the hell out of there, so she could bury the experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by magicalprince
I feel like therapists do not realize just how many mixed messages they are typically sending to people. On one hand, saying this is a relationship, on the other hand, saying it's not a normal relationship. On one hand, encouraging vulnerability and dependency and regression, on the other, reserving the right to establish any boundary any time, to neglect any or all of the client's emotional needs, also reserving the right to stop treating at any time.
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Again, I think you are spot on. Seems the therapy biz has created such a convoluted set of guidelines and principles and instructions around T behavior and self-disclosure that all the normalcy of human relations has been squeezed out in the name of ethics or theory or whatever. It is a highly tweaked and bizarre relationship that seems always teetering on the edge of collapse, or veering into an abusive or exploitive situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by magicalprince
These are T's that want to be heroes and saviors but get bored when being savior turns to being a caregiver. They want a baby but they don't want to hear it crying at night. It's all feeding their own narcissism, nothing more.
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Or when the savior self image is shattered by the realization that the client is being harmed, as with mine. Once T becomes wounded in this way, especially if they do have narcissistic tendencies and if their self state is threatened, watch out.