i've not in the best place these last few days.
i never associate relaspe with being hypomanic, but each time it is. i find myself hurting inside so much that i looked in the wrong place for relief. the anniversary of my son's death came and went, and i thought i did well, but here i am. i'm tired of seeing myself as a "faiture" everytime i get to this point. it only makes the feeling of shame worst. I just went back to therapy working on some childhood abuse issues, she saids that i'm at this place of "discovery" where you start to face the abuse. I found a very good psych, i went to see him last week. he's the first doc that said that i had generalized anxiety disorder. he rx busbar. all these years of feeling anxious, it's amazing what we learn to live with, the strenght that it sometimes takes. He said that i can take my geodon as needed. i took one last night, i feel a little more settled. i'm hoping to ge stable enought to get back on track. to the place where my meds are enought.