oh my gosh, I really feel for you. I was hospitalized most of the summer. Had someone else not insisted, I never would have taken the step myself. I knew I was sick but it was only once I was in the hospital did I realise to the degree.

If you have no pysychiatrist or therapist to immediately access I recommend paying a visit to your family docotor.

Talk to your husband. Raise the issue of hospitalization with him.

You must have resources through your union to talk to. Again, if you can't immediately access them visit your family doctor. They can often get the ball rolling when it feels stalled.

This is the route I tooks on account my psychiatrist was away. He immediately recognized I was in trouble and made me a direct admission to the hospital.

I hope this is actually of some encouragement to you. I make these suggestions because of the importance you take that recognition of something wrong and turn it into action.

Remember, there is no reward for being the best mom and wife. You won't get a gold medal so don't put yourself down for feeling inadequate and needing to take a break.

Hang in there. The day will come that you feel better - it will - you just need to take care of yourself until then. Hugs.