Hello all. I hope you're all doing well. I'm currently having a low point and I don't have anyone to talk to.

I cut out all of my toxic friends and I have 3 good friends. But only one of them actually takes the time to listen to me when I'm feeling down.

This past week was rough. Everyone just came and unloaded their problems on me and just left. They knew I was feeling bad and they didn't even ask, "Do you want to talk about it?" One friend even ignored me for a couple of days...

It's like I'm stuck in this endless cycle and I'm trying to get out of it but it's hard. I need to expand my social circle but it's so scary putting yourself out there.

At home, my grandmother drives me up a wall. She doesn't know I'm gay and she's very homophobic, so I live in a constant state of anxiety, worrying about the day when she finds out. My mom and I thinks she'll most likely get physically violent if she ever finds out.

I'm in my early 20s and I should be having the time of my life. Instead I'm just in my room, being restless and writing in my journal and feeling so lonely that it hurts.

I'm not sure why I'm writing all of this or what the point is. I just feel very alone.