Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden
Thanks for sharing. May I ask you how old you are? Nothing that important perhaps but still. That sounds harsh not getting any help because you choose to quit, it sounds a bit like a punishment.
Do you still believe in therapy or does that feel like a closed door? I ask because there has to be T:s who specialise in social anxiety and who could help you more efficienly than the T:s you met earlier on.
I agree with you on suicide by principal but itīs still very hard living like this, itīs no life and the thought I always get back to is that I waste and Iīve wasted a lot of time and I donīt know what to do about it.
I hope things turn to the better for you as well, Iīll add you to my friends list if you like.  |
I'm almost 31... so yeah. I think therapy could work, but I'd need to find a therapist that I really jive with -- I've seen 4 so far but none worked out. Most of them were nice enough but didn't really click, you know? I tried CBT but I think I've lived with negative thought patterns for so long that my mind is really resistant to change or something. I just can't make myself believe it, no matter how much I tell myself positive things.
But therapy is so expensive! Without a job I couldn't continue spending $120 or so every week. The problem is I'm having a really hard time finding a job because I especially hate feeling judged, and interviews are the WORST. Besides I don't have much job experience and with all my obvious flaws... I don't think I stand much of a chance in today's competitive job market.
I know what you mean about waste. I feel like I've wasted much of my life just being useless. I feel like it's a waste for my parents to keep supporting me. But I do what I can for them like running errands, cooking and cleaning and they say they're thankful. I've gotten pretty decent at cooking these past two years. It doesn't feel like enough, though. But then I was brought up in an environment where I felt I could never be good enough.