Hey starryprince, sometimes "friends" cannot see past their own nose, meaning they are just trying to sort out their own head and not looking at the person in front of them who may need more help than they do. I am glad that you have one good friend. Do you talk to your mom about how you are feeling. Are you on meds at the moment? I am sorry to say there are homophobic people out there, sadly that is a fact of life.. Why would your grandmother get violent with you? You have done nothing wrong. I just want to say that there are lots of great caring people on PC, who give their time to help others try and make sence of their lives. I guess your grandmother is not the kind of person that you can sit down and have a rational conversation with.. Best wishes.. I am sorry that I have no words of wisdom.. Just keep your chin up, things change all the time. You wont always feel this bad..Best wishes