I hear you; my mom does this too. I'll say something in a slightly off tone and she'll get extremely defensive. And then even when I try to tell her I didn't mean it that way, she'll stay defensive! Plenty of fights between us have started that way. And she frequently tells me I need to say "please" even when I don't think it's really necessary.

I hate misunderstandings, it feels like my life has been full of them