La Hi Starryprince,
Thanks a lot for sharing. In some way, I am at the same point. I am getting rid of some friends that are toxic for me (at least at the present moment) and sometimes it is hard for me to find people who really listen and comprehend what I need to say among my remaining friends. I am not a homosexual person but I have a disability and a more or less recent diagnose of depression and anxiety. I think these attributes make my life radically unique.
One one hand I think that for people living radically unique experiences it is difficult to find other people that understand well their worries, concerns, feelings, etc. To me, it is important to have some friends in the disability community and be here at PC where I can post and read postings by people with mental health conditions. I find more understanding and better advice among peers than among people that are not going through radical experiences like mine. Of course, I do not want to live in a ghetto so I relate to other people, as well. Sometimes to me it is hard to balance the relationships and not get annoyed when an "outsider" ( a friend that does not have a disability or depression) gives me an unwanted advice or tell me hurtful stuff unintentionally.
On the other hand, I have doubts about getting rid of friends that are toxic to me for the moment. I know depression makes us see things with dark lenses. Sometimes I get very irritable and some people really hurts. But then feeling alone hurts, as well. It is a delicate balance and, on top of that, I would not like to hurt them by refusing their friendship, although sometimes the healthiest thing to do is cut out.

Anyway, for you perhaps it would be good to find some peers going through similar experiences. You may find a better quality understanding among them. Also, be aware that if you are under depression you could get easily irritated or hurt by people, you may have to take your time to consider each friendship so you do not get lonely, perhaps.
I am really, really sorry because of your grandma. You have the right to be yourself plenty and you should not have to be putting up with her phobia. It is sickening and it is unfair for you. Would you consider take the lead in this case? She is in control right now. Perhaps if you can take the lead and solve the problem with your grandma once for all you will feel much better.
Ok , sorry for the long post. I am sending you a hug