Moo, I have been there. I understand the feeling stuck in a rut and things not the way you want or expected. Take time out for yourself. Decorate your home as a vacation resort, play good music. Cook a nice meal, read a good book, watch a good movie. Or take the time to just go for a walk or ride a bike. Make a list of all the things you have accomplished and put in order for yourself. Reflect on the growth you have made. Write a small list of goals and when you finish one, cross it off. Write in a journal of all the things you've encountered and how you overcame them. There are many possibilities that you can come up with. Mostly, be kind to yourself. I feel for you. Blessings.