I'm afraid I'm not what you're looking for, being white and anorexic, but what you've described nails it for me. Not eating is part of not feeling, if that makes any sense.

My advice, as someone MUCH older than you are, is to get to a therapist. You don't have to tell your family WHY you're going -- or even tell them at all -- but I promise it's the best thing you can do for yourself. If your family ask about it, you can always tell them something like you're "conflicted about career options and seeking clarity" or you're "looking to find better ways of dealing with stress" -- you really and truly don't need to be "mentally disturbed" to see a therapist. (My husband is in individual therapy to help him deal with the stress of my current relapse, for example. He's a wonderful, well-adjusted, even tempered guy who knows he's a superstar. I don't think anyone could describe him as "mentally disturbed.")

By the way, you have a real gift for words, and -- from what you've written here -- an awful lot of insight into what's going on for you. Those are both real gifts. I hope that you are aware of how talented you are.