Don't talk up the punching bag first of all.....If you be positive with yourself, then people will follow. If not, then I guess it is for your protection. Be your own best friend, in a tasteful way when you meet the right people love you enough that you can put it on them. Write about instance where people didn't avoid you and how that made you feel the relationships you had no matter in what lane they where. Are you on a soul searching journey? I was being DID/PTSD, but I'm not any longer so much of the none relationship and way people act or for my protection or just to fill one area of my life...All else or them problems. I'm trying to pray and ask God how can I leave the past behind use balance be protective and still be a little more open to relationships because I'm healing. It really isn't easy, but it can be done. Good Luck