💌My working theory is that if I'm not good enough to someone as i am then more than likely I wouldn't really enjoy their company anyway.
My reaction to the chilhood abuse was to become a very solitary person. For that I was laughed at a lot and misunderstood by most other kids.
However, I was not able to change when I was a child and from our formative years our personalities are formed. I can change some things as an adult... have changed some things and hope to change more things... but I can't erase the kind of person I became... and now I wouldn't even want to try.

I am quite blessed in that I have government disability benefits, though. I no longer have to figure out how to change my behavior well enough
to keep from losing my job.... that was very difficult.