I have struggled with this issue for as long as I can recall. Even when I had friends, or was married, I felt surreal. Uncomfortable ~ as though I wasn't really there. Not a pleasant experience!

After 16 years, my ex-husband gave up on me. I've left most of my family, because they hurt me a lot during my youth and adolescence. I do have 2 daughters, who I love dearly, but I only have them on the weekends during the school year. It is hard.

While I can work (P/T), and seem "okay" to those just glancing at me, I'm a wreck! I have a boyfriend ~ but let's just say that I have lowered standards, for 6 years or so. My bf isn't a jerk, don't get me wrong. We just disagree upon some real key issues to me. Yet, I continue to hold myself down. He won't change. My perspective isn't changing either. But, the thought of being completely alone 65% of the time.... that scares the heck out of me!! {I've already broken up and gone back to my bf 3 or 4 times now. } My bf lives in the same apartment building as I do, that's what really makes it messy for me.

Annnnyyyway, it really stinks. I'm sorry.