Thanks guys

Things with the locksmith did not go well. He's someone Ive used before, and has been very good to me and done lots of free work. But he's very touchy feely and so I always get quite uptight around him.

Unfortunately he couldn't fix the door, he will come back sometime during the week to fix it. This just is not something I can deal with too well. The lack of physical security - something of a trigger. I tried to pretend I was ok with it all, but just as he was leaving, he asked why I was shaking, and the tears just came. He came back in the house, and sat down and pulled me in to him, and was basically making me snuggle. I tried to be ok with it. He was trying to comfort me, trying to be nice, but it felt so wrong. When he finally got up to leave he kissed me on the lips and my head was just FREAKING. He held my chin in his hands and was making me look him in the eyes and told me I mean a lot to him.

F*** my lungs. Ive put the call in. I can't deal with any of this today.